Here I go again . Motivational writing to my comrades about my personal experiences. At 57 all these decades on earth , living in 3 countries by 9 years old , traveling tens of thousands of miles, if not hundreds here and visiting 45 of 50 United States of America having come across a large subsection of Americana ; I must have a valuable perspective if in front of the right audience .
We have 3 distinctly different persona . Our public , private and secret personae.
You can tell how a person perceives you by the way they behave with you . If you really desire to see how a person feels about you , pay close attention to how they respond to granting relief to others in a crisis , or more specifically to you . People inherently prefer to assist those whom need it the least or monetarily benefit off of those whom need it the most .
Publicly peoples first amigo may smile in your face , greet you with salutations and have lofty unreachable goals to assail your fears of desperation . Speaking of which . Never let them see your desperation because it emboldens them into a power dynamic that will bring you abuse , abandonment and a need to start from square one with building life long meaningful relationships again with others .
Privately an amigo may ridicule you behind your back , discourage others to assist in your rescue and make a mockery of you being a cause because they genuinely have no skin in the game , moral fiber or character outside of their own megalomaniac goals of self interest . All along while patting themselves on their own backs .
Secretly this same amigo will have an absolute disdain for you from the very start but was exercising an unconscious bias that they were clearly in unaware of practising . Unconscious bias : Making decisions based in racism and not knowing you're doing it ! The unawares racist !
What's done in secret clearly surfaces ! What's done in private rears its ugly head. What's done in public starts to fade and slowly disappears .
The 3 turmoils of amigos conflict can only be won by those whom are conscious of their existence , have self discipline on privately biting their own tongues and secretly don't permit their minds to become invaded by pollution of insecurities .
Why ?
Most peoples intentions start off honorable !
Then comes the work , commitment and monetary investment .
You would be amazed to learn how many people have fallen to the wayside because it was physically too demanding to hold facade of volunteer , friend or philanthropist .
I have individuals say , " Here's my email address , I'll exchange them with you ."
I send a contact , no response .
Yet , I can email Kjartan Arnorsson & same day receive a response . Yesterday I received 2 emails from him . I didn't even know that could occur .
So , when I email supporters whom don't see a need to expeditiously reply even in one sentence . I know the 3 amigo demons whom internally their battling .
Prison did teach me not to internalize such conflicts and to openly communicate them . That way any court , regrets or concerns I have can easily be cured . But , it takes 2 to conquer the 3 amigos . Yourself and the individual whose inside need of rescue .
Are you my perfunctory friend or a true friend because if you're a reluctant amigo? Sadly , its not sustainable wearing a false facade !
You may ridicule my absence of formal education , bash my sense of entitlement to be resumed by white privileged academics or despise the color of skin that I am closed in . But recall this my Critical Resistance friends , " Publicly , privately and secretly when prisoners ridiculed me associating with homosexuals , lesbians and you whom are of the LGTBQ+ community , I stand tall in my flesh , in spirit and with a clear conscious mind that I don't discriminate against my rescuers ! "
Battle your 3 amigos and get back morally right !
I can call Kjartan and he answers his telephone .
We are examples of people whom have conquered our turmoils of racism , privilege and elevated towards an universal truth of one humanity .
Are you victimized by being disenfranchised citizen due your sexual preference? Are you suffering from a mental illness ? Are you in need of assistance ? Are you in doubt of anything ?
I may not have the knowledge but I've the time to invest in researching what may ail you towards finding a cure !
For any naysayers whom says , " Damn ! You can't even help yourself ! How in the hell are you going to help someone else !"
I say that your statement affords you a grand opportunity to identify yourself .